
MINI. PIGS. They are smaller than a cat and a billion times more adorable.
Lauren: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1218472/The-700-teacup-sized-pigs-latest-celebrity-pet.html
I NEED THESE IN MY LIFE.
Elizabeth: OH MY GOOD LORD
Lauren: I KNOW
NEED
Elizabeth: I COULD PUT IT IN MY POCKET
Lauren: I KNOW
Elizabeth: AND TAKE IT AROUND WITH ME
Lauren: I KNOW
Elizabeth: I COULD SEW A SPECIFIC TINY PIG POCKET ONTO ALL OF MY CLOTHES
Lauren: YES
Elizabeth: I COULD PUT IT IN TINY BOOTS
AND THEN LITERALLY DIE FROM THE CUTENESS
Lauren: Or carry around a teacup that has an image of you and that pig on it.
OMG TINY BOOTS
Tiny raincoats!
Elizabeth: SHUT THE FRONT DOOR
WITH TINY RAIN HATS
Lauren: YES
Elizabeth: I CANNOT HANDLE THIS
Lauren: I KNOW
Elizabeth: I’m not going to be able to get any work done now
Lauren: I KNOW
I expect one of these for my birthday.
Elizabeth: that’s cool
700 pounds is equal to what in dollars?
like $25
Lauren: Um….
I think it’s close to $1000
BUT IT IS AN INVESTMENT.
Elizabeth: oh, hmmmm
ask your parents
Lauren: In my happiness.

This isn't a minipig, but OMG PIG IN BOOTS!!
[A few days later]
Elizabeth: I NEED A MINI-PIG
NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED
I’d get him an entire mini rain outfit
also, I think I would name him Oliver
Ollie for short
“I’d like to introduce you to Ollie, my teacup pig. He is very prepared for a rainstorm.”
Lauren: I like it.
I’d name mine Tuesday.
Elizabeth: Interesting
I like it.
Lauren: I like that name.
Elizabeth: I wonder how hard it would be to get them to talk
Lauren: Hmm.
Only one way to find out.
Elizabeth: Call a mini-pig scientist
(OMG – I’d dress my mini-pig up like a scientist)
(DR. OLIVER MINIPIG)
(“Hey, there, minipig, whatcha doin’?” “SCIENCE.”)
Lauren: (YES)
Elizabeth: I would have so many costumes for my mini-pig
Old Timey Villain
Scientist
Rain outfit
ummm
Lauren: Villian is the best. You could give him a curlicue moustache.
Elizabeth: I KNOW
Lauren: Monoploly Man
Elizabeth: and a little pinstripe suit?
YES
Robot
Astronaut
Robot Astronaut
Lauren: School marm
Elizabeth: YES
Cowardly Lion
Lauren: SCHOOL BOY
WITH KNICKERS
Elizabeth: OMGSTFU
Lauren: Old timey shop keeper
Newsie!
Elizabeth: Ha!
Marie Antoinette
Lauren: (MORE KNICKERS)
Elizabeth: with the big wig!
and fancy dress!
and drawn on moles!!
Lauren: A member of Parliament
Elizabeth: YES
Lauren: A member of Parliament Funkadelic
Elizabeth: Captain Ron
Lauren: BOOTSY FUCKING COLLINS
Elizabeth: PIG PIMPIN’
Lauren: Flava Flav
Tina Fey as Sarah Palin
John Adams
Elizabeth: Admiral in Queen Victoria’s Navy
Lauren: !!!
Elizabeth: I need a mini-pig, STAT
Lauren: You really do.
As do I.
Andy Warhol.
Elizabeth: OMG – I will happily become a crazy mini-pig lady
YES
Lauren: Liza!
Elizabeth: Salvador DALI?
Lauren: More moustaches! I love it!
Elizabeth: Captain Hook?
Lauren: Yeeeeeeees…
Smee!
(no moustache, but still!)
A Frenchman!
A German beer connessiour! With leiderhosen!
Elizabeth: I’M GOING TO DIE
Lauren: A geisha girl?
Elizabeth: yes?
a NINJA
Lauren: (I’m thinking tiny kimono)
YES
A Southern debutante
From the 1800s
Elizabeth: OMG – Gone with the wind
the entire movie
Lauren: Slash
Elizabeth: in mini-pig
HAHAHAHAHHAHA
Lauren: !!!!!
With a TIIIIIIIIINY GUITAR
Truman Capote.
Elizabeth: But a GIANT rock ‘n’ roll soul
heh
Lauren: DUH
The Bumblebee Man
Elizabeth: baseball player from the 1880s
Lauren: These possibilities are almost endless.
Elizabeth: gold prospector
Lauren: A bathing beauty from the 1800s!
Elizabeth: ANYTHING FROM THE 1800S
Lauren: The Swedish chef!
Elizabeth: YES
Lauren: Betsey Johnson!
Don Draper!
(I’m losing my mind)
Elizabeth: (with amazing)
Lauren: Jimi Hendrix
CAPTAIN LOU ALBANO
Elizabeth: heh
Shakespeare
Lauren: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Elizabeth: Amerigo Vespucci
Lauren: Julias Caesar!
Sid Caesar!
Elizabeth: Caesar Chavez?
Lauren: Caesar Chavez!
Elizabeth: HAHAHAHA
Lauren: JINX
Art Garfunkel
Elizabeth: Sir Edmund Hillary
Lauren: ?
Elizabeth: um, explorer
One of the poles…South? [ed. - Mt. Everest]
Amelia Earhart
Lauren: OMG
With a tiny little flying cap and goggles
Elizabeth: YES
Lauren: Aladdin
(curlicue shoes)
Elizabeth: (perfect)
Rapunzel
Lauren: YES
Bill Gallagher
Gallagher!
(tiny watermelons!)
Elizabeth: Professor
tiny tweed jacket
and pipe!
Lauren: Hold on, I have to pee.
Too much lolz!
Elizabeth: MATADOR
BEN FRANKLIN
PILGRIM
Lauren: MATADOR!!!!
Elizabeth: I KNOW
Lauren: Old timey safari-goer.
Like Rudyard Kipling.
Elizabeth: Pith helmet!
Lauren: Monocle AND a tiiiiny rifle!
Yes!
Elizabeth: wizard
gypsie
Lauren: CHER.
CHER FROM THE HALF BREED COVER.
Elizabeth: FUCK YES
Lauren: Lady Gaga!!
Elizabeth: hahahaha
mini-combat boots!
Lauren: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Elizabeth: Johnny Rotten
Joey Ramone
ELVIS
Buddy Holly!!!!!!
Lauren: Ha, I almost said Jonny Rotten before.
Courtney Love
Mini mary janes!
Elizabeth: Elton John
Lauren: OMG
A gang member from The Warriors.
Maybe a Furie…
Tiny baseball bat!
Elizabeth: yesyesyes
Willy Wonka
(gene wilder – not johnny depp)
Lauren: My brain is melting
Elizabeth: Wayne Gretzky
MINI-SKATES
and MIN-HOCKEY STICK
Gene Simmons in full KISS gear
every outfit Bert wears in Mary Poppins
Lauren: OMG YES
Elizabeth: ONE MAN BAND
CHIMNEY SWEEP
Lauren: TINY BROOMS.

Seriously, there are no more words.








I am one of the most emotional people ever. If someone else is crying, there is a really good chance I’m going to end up crying as well. I cried at the end of So You Think You Can Dance last night, and I couldn’t even stand Phillip, but he started talking about his dad that just passed away, and then Cat was all teary during the outro, and the next thing I know, I’m sniffling. On the opposite end of the spectrum is my sister – the least likely person to cry ever – whose personal beliefs are that feelings belong on the inside and tears are a sign of weakness. So, when she gave me a book recently and told me that I had to read it because it made her cry? Oh, I was on that rull fast.













I really hope whoever bought the movie rights to this book gets Steven Soderbergh to direct, because reading 


