A Convo With El & Lo RE: Faulty Logic

14 05 2010

So, unicorns are real too?

Elizabeth: So, I’m pretty smart
but there are a couple of things that kinda blow my mind
Lauren: Yesh
Elizabeth: one of them is Jello
Lauren: Magnets??
Oh
Elizabeth: haha, no
another is narwhals
Lauren: NARWHALS!
You know, Brian didn’t think they were an actual thing.
Elizabeth: haha, um, me neither
and then I was watching a nature program
that totally featured them
Lauren: Aaaand? What did you learn?
That you need one?
Elizabeth: yes
I learned that they actually exist
and their horns have lots of nerve endings and can sense temperature and currents and stuff like that to help them navigate
Lauren: Just like mine!
Elizabeth: wait, what?
Lauren: Oh, nevermind.
What else?
Elizabeth: um, they swim close together
but, back up a sec
do you have a horn?
a navigational horn??
Lauren: Umm…nnoooooooo.
Elizabeth: WHAT THE FRICK
Lauren: Um. This is awkward.
Elizabeth: It really is.
OMG
new band name
RAWKWARD
Lauren: YESSSSSSSSSSS
Elizabeth: I really need someone to fund a think tank for me
a think tank of awesome
Lauren: When I win the lotto…
Elizabeth: and, I’m thinking I want it to be an actual tank
Lauren: Well, yeah.
Elizabeth: either fish or military vehicle
I’m not picky
I can be like Sandy Squirrel
or Tank Girl
Lauren: I was thinking more like a Dunk Tank.
Or a Drunk Tank.
Elizabeth: haha
Lauren: (Which is jail, so nevermind that one.)
Elizabeth: I had a conversation with someone about how being in jail would probably be better than my current life
Lauren: Hmm.
Elizabeth: they have libraries
and my family can only visit me at specific times
Lauren: Ah.
Elizabeth: seriously
I’m pretty sure that qualifies as “livin’ the dream”
I could become a lawyer!
AND IT IS ALWAYS SOFTPANTS TIME
Lauren: Hmm.
Elizabeth: c’mon
that shit is awesome
Lauren: Yes, but…prison.
The only alcohol is prison wine.
Elizabeth: yeah, that’s a downside
Lauren: And the food is terrible.
Elizabeth: sure
but, laying in bed for like 20 hours a day reading sounds like the business
Lauren: You’d have to poo in full view of others.
Elizabeth: I’ve already thought of that
and I’d wake up in the middle of the night to go
Lauren: People are awake in the middle of the night in prison.
Elizabeth: but the lights are out
Lauren: They can hear you.
Elizabeth: I will sob loudly so they just think I’m having bad dreams
or scream hysterically
Lauren: Still, I’m not sure you’ve really thought this through.
Elizabeth: all I’m saying is, if it happened, I think I could roll with it
Lauren: And that’s a good outlook to have. Since you’re probably going upstate for all the swindling.
Elizabeth: truth


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2 responses

15 05 2010
Emily

I hope you two never stop talking to each other.

15 05 2010
Melissa

If one of you ends up in the pokey, I could teach you how to make fun prison crafts. Like the ever essential toothbrush shiv, bed linen doilies, or if you go gay for the stay, shoe sole dental dams!

P.S.~Fucking magnets?! How do they work?

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