I Should Have A Degree In Mixology

15 01 2009

So, the title of this little blog here is “Baking, Books, Booze.”  We’ve given you baking, and we’ve given you books – but, where is the booze?  The answer – in my belly.  And I’m going to share a little drink mix that I believe cures all ailments and woes – physical, mental, theoretical.  It goes a little something like this:

Take out a glass [I prefer to use a mug – handles make things easy for me and then I go around muttering about “Mama’s Coffee” which never fails to amuse me]
Drop a couple ice cubes in said glass.
Unscrew the top off of a big ol’ bottle of Jim Beam
Start pouring the Beam over the ice cubes.  Stop when you start feeling guilty about the path your life has taken.  Add a “screw it” splash.
Top off the glass with either Canada Dry ginger ale or Coca-Cola.  Not diet, not Pepsi, not some generic – now is not the time to save a few pennies.
Commence with the gulping.
Repeat as necessary.

That’s about it.  Not the most complex drink in the world, but trust me – there’s no reason to start mucking about with perfection.

Lauren: I want cupcakes and Diet Coke NOW.Elizabeth: Girl, you need to calm downand DIET coke?Lauren: I KNOWElizabeth: Srsly?Lauren: I’m a Diet Cokehead now.I hate myself.Elizabeth: WHA?!!Lauren: [weeps silently for the 2nd time today]I’m ashamed.Elizabeth: You should beI don’t like thisNot one bitLauren: Me neither. The people at work and Brian are the only ones who know my dirty secret.Elizabeth: I will say this right now, if we EVER go out, and you order a Jim Beam and Diet Coke, so help me I will bring a wrath upon you like you have never known.Lauren: Christ on a cracker, NO!When I went last Friday I had regular Coke.Beam mixes with nothing but Coke.Elizabeth: Okay.I like it with ginger alebut, that’s meLauren: Oh, yeah. That’s acceptable.I’m not fond of it myself, but you love it.Elizabeth: It really annoys me when people get mixed drinks with diet sodasmakes no senseLauren: Yeah, I don’t get it either.Elizabeth: Yeah, bourbon + ginger ale = joyLauren: I mean, you’re already fucking everything up by drinking.Elizabeth: I know, I know Lauren: I could use some bourbon right about now.Elizabeth: So, I have a bottle of Beam in my apartment and I haven’t finished it yet because I’m all neuroticI hadn’t taken out my recycling for a while and didn’t want to have two bottles in my bin at the same timeNever mind the beer bottles and wineLauren: Oh, for chrissakes.Elizabeth: Yeah, i know, but it’s meLauren: Brian owes me a bottle of Beam. As well as pink champagne and at least 2 12 packs of Amstel.I always wonder what the recycling people think of us, with all the booze bottles mixed with the empty diaper boxes. [note: This tally comes after several weeks and many guests.  Not one weekend.  Lo is a good mom – please do not call CPS.]Elizabeth: Well, I also felt weird about polishing off a bottle by myself in 2 weeksThat seemed excessiveLauren: Pfft. Wevs. If I didn’t have a kid, that shit would be my breakfast Elizabeth: Fair




One response

10 01 2010
Look’s Like We Made It « Baking, Books, Booze

[…] – apparently people really like Gordon Lightfoot.  We’ve shared some of our favorite recipes, biggest failures, secret shames, and ever increasing insanity.  We’ve laughed and cried and […]

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