When the Moon Hits Your Eye Like a Big Pizza Pie, That’s a Good Time to See a Doctor. Seriously. You Could be Hurt.

5 05 2009
I AM AWESOME. Well, the pizza, really. But I MADE IT.

I AM AWESOME. Well, the pizza, really. But I MADE IT.

Contrary to popular belief, I do not sit around not losing the baby weight I gained 2 and half years ago by making cookies and cupcakes. No, my friends, I have more than one way to keep on that extra 25 pounds. What is it? Pizza. From scratch.  With olive oil and mozzarella and vegetables and parmesan and OMGDROOL. My friend The Crazy Greek (she is Egon) gave me this tasty and delightfully easy pizza crust. I’m still getting over my fear of yeast-related goodies (no Monistat jokes, please and thank you), but she assured me that this was simple and I couldn’t fuck it up. Well, it was, and I didn’t. SO THERE. The beauty of it is that you can add whatever ingredients you want to the crust, garlic powder (yes please), salt, pepper, red pepper flakes, r0semary, oregano, weed (actually, don’t do that), you get the gist. For this particular dish, I added a shitload of salt and pepper and one metric butt-ton of garlic powder because I HATE VAMPIRES. So go ahead – fuck around with it. If you’re drunk enough, it’ll taste good just the same. Oh, and I’m not listing toppings here, because if you don’t know what kind of pizza you like to make, you should just leave here now. AND DON’T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT. (I’ve always wanted to say that!)

  • 1 Tbl. honey
  • 1 packet fast-rise yeast
  • 1 cup reallllly warm water
  • 3 cups flour
  • olive oil
  • whatever else you want to toss in there
  1. Put honey and yeast together in a large bowl. Add warm water. Stir and  let sit for 10 minutes.
  2. Stir in flour and any of your add-ins.
  3. Knead for 3 minutes on floured surface. Grease up that bowl with some olive oil.
  4. Toss the dough back in the oiled bowl so the oil coats the cute little ball all over.
  5. Cover bowl with a dish towel and let rise for 45 minutes.
  6. Preheat oven to 450 and grease up a cookie sheet (or pizza pan if you’re fancy like that). Press the dough til it’s 1/4″ thick (or, if you like thick crust like I do, then make it a little thicker).
  7. Add toppings and put that sucker on the cookie sheet for about 12-15 minutes.
  8. Act like you’re better than others who are still foolishly ordering their pizza from shitholes like Papa John’s and Dominos.

YOU ARE WELCOME.

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2 responses

6 05 2009
Ruthie

That is one good looking picture! I make semi-homemade pizza every Friday night. I am going to tryyour dough. Thanks

1 07 2009
emily

i want to go to there.

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