Things I Like to Do: Make Impressive Lunches for My Parents

17 08 2009
Courtesy of And by "courtesy of," I mean I stole it because it made me lizz all over the place.

Courtesy of And by "courtesy of," I mean I stole it because it made me lizz all over the place.

Okay, it’s not really that impressive, since they are pseudo-Italians. But they were impressed that it was so delicious since it didn’t have any of their blasted sausage in it. In fact, the whole goddamn thing was meat free! Why? I AM POOR, PEOPLE. SO, SO POOR. And I had an abundance of veggies thanks to this dude I work with, who owns a farm and brings us yummy fresh vegetables for nuffin’. The ‘rents came down yesterday to get their Big Easy fix, and I decided that I didn’t feel like waiting 30 minutes for a mediocre brunch or an hour for a very good brunch at a local restaurant. So I took matters into my own hands when they took the kid out for a nap-inducing walk and made a veggie lasagna. I basically follow the recipe on the side of the lasagna box, but instead of browning ground beef (or, blecch, sausage), I sauteed some green pepper, red pepper, onion, mushrooms, a yellow squash, and spinach. Then I mixed this in with my superduper top secret sauce recipe and BAM! Lasagna. Well, I mean, you have to boil the noodles and mix the ricotta and parmesan and actually, like, assemble it. But STILL. Pop that shit in the oven and prepare to wow a crowd. It ain’t difficult, and it’s a total crowd pleaser, even my parents, who I don’t think have really ever had a meal sans meat. I’m not going to repost the lasagna recipe here because, like I said, just use the friggin’ one on the side of the box. I will, however, let you in on my superduper top secret sauce recipe that I made up one day 5 years ago because I didn’t feel like waiting around all day for my dad’s sauce recipe to come to fruition. So, enjoy, because you can basically make this taste however you want. Oh, and also, I’m going to have to kill you now for reading the recipe since it IS superduper top secret. HAHAHAHA! JUST KIDDING! (Or am I???) (I am.)

Lo’s Superduper Top Secret Sauce Recipe

  • 1 can tomato sauce (I use Kroger brand everything. I’m mad cheap, yo!)
  • 1 can diced tomatoes (I use Italian style)
  • 1 can tomato paste
  • Sugar to taste (this is verrrrrrry important if you use that tomato paste, otherwise your sauce will taste like burning ass.)
  • Garlic (powder or fresh, depends on how lazy you are. I am very lazy.)
  • Salt ‘n’ pepa
  • Whatever herbs you feel like tossing in there. I’m partial to rosemary myself.

Throw that shit in a saucepan, mix it up, and let it simmer on medium low until your pasta is finished cooking. That’s it. I’m serious. Just don’t let it burn or else! Happy pasta days!




3 responses

18 08 2009

If I could ‘like’ this blogpost I would. Not because I like to cook or will attempt any of the aforementioned recipes, I just like reading your blog. You make me smile.

20 08 2009

You make me jealous with your kitchen large enough for actual cooking. HARUMPH! (I’ve noticed a lot lately that I am turning into a grumpy old man. This isn’t how I saw things turning out for me.)

26 08 2009

To Julia: Aww, thanks boo! But you should try this sauce. It’s yummy. Oh, and everything else I make so you can direct others who compliment it here and El and I can be millionare blogstresses. AMIRITE??

To Emily: I will make a concerted effort to incorporate more inactual cooking just for you. Also, I have been a grumpy old man for a good 15 years or so. Not literally, just in spirit. Now get those damn kids off my lawn!

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