Lo’s Link-Happy New Year Resolutions

12 01 2010

[crickets chirping] [tumbleweeds] [other things to indicate quiet]

Googled "quit while you're ahead," got this from jackiechankids.com. It seems more than appropriate.

Why, HELLLLLOOOOOOOOO!!! See, um, here’s the thing: I don’t make resolutions. It’s kind of a “quit while you’re ahead” sort of thing. I’m bound to break them, so I don’t even make them! [Hip hop career, here I come!] But I decided that maybe this year I’d try something new: I’m going to make resolutions! But not, you know, dumb shit like exercising more or quitting smoking or practicing arson. I’m talking BAKING resolutions! 2010 is gonna be MY YEAR. To bake (and cook). More. Than I do, you know, now. I want to try new things and maybe even start [gasp!] decorating. Even though I have the artistic ability of a drunk quadriplegic. I want to branch out to do more fruit cobblers, more meringue buttercream, more cookies! A roast! Steaks! Potatoes! In different forms! And I want to do it all on a (suuuuuuuper) tight budget. So, without further ado, here is a starting list of shit I want to make before 12/31/10:

http://www.recipetips.com/recipe-cards/t–3721/pear-and-cranberry-cobbler.asp WHAT THE FUUUUUCK. How did this not get brought to my attention until recently?? Definitely for winter time, definitely for my belly.

http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/ Pretty much anything from this site makes me want to reach into my monitor and shove it into my gaping maw. El got me her cookbook for Xmas, and I almost passed the fuck out trying to decide what to make first. I still haven’t reached a decision.

http://www.marthastewart.com/recipe/tiramisu-cupcakes?backto=true&backtourl=/photogallery/fancy-cupcakes#slide_2 WTFOMGLOL. Tiramisu? YESHPLZ. I didn’t even like this shit til The Greek made it for me and I wanted to dive into the bowl. Cupcakes are much harder to dive into.

http://bbq.about.com/od/steakrecipes/r/bln0324b.htm Because…why the fuck not? I already mastered Beef Wellington. I’m sure my Sig Ot would like me more if I made this. Big Easy? Meh…he’ll just stick with the cupcakes.

http://simplyrecipes.com/recipes/twice_baked_potatoes/ Bacon and cheddar vs. Bleu cheese and chives! ONLY ONE WILL REIGN SUPREME! In the meantime, you’d better let me keep tasting them so I can make sure that they’re both still good…

http://www.wilton.com/decorating/ I detest fondant, on principle (it’s one of three that I have). But Wilton is a great place to go for basics, especially when you are completely and utterly worthless when it comes to making your baked goods look at all appetizing like I am.

http://www.ehow.com/how_4825621_casual-inexpensive-course-dinner-party.html Because, why the fuck not? I’m almost 30. I’m the same age as Betty Draper for chrissakes. Plus I like to pretend I’m fancy.

Those are all the resolutions I can come up with for now. Chances are, I won’t make a lot of this shit, but at least I have this page to reference in June when I’m feeling worthless. Then I’ll still have 6 more months to get my shit together and become an upstanding member of society.

Fact: I am fond of Courtney Love, Paul Rudd, Dave Chappelle, Kool & the Gang, AND New Years Eve.

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