Strawberry Muffins are Fucking Good.

12 05 2010

Insert dirty muffin joke here.

So, I know I’ve discussed here before about how I’m a child of the Great Depression. My biggest pet peeve is wasting food. I will cram any sort of leftover produce about to turn bad into anything that I am making, whether it is burgers or some halfassed bowl of oatmeal. This time, the victim was about a pound of strawberries I had bought because they were on sale and I had lofty aspirations of feeding myself a bowl of homemade whipped cream with strawberries, possibly drizzled in bittersweet chocolate. Then I remembered I used all of my bittersweet chocolate to make Irish Carbomb Cupcakes for my friend Alex’s surprise birthday celebration. While that chocolate definitely went to a good cause, I was pissed anyway because OMG FUCKING STRAWBERRIES, WHIPPED CREAM, AND CHOCOLATE. So I got mad and forgot about the strawberries til I went to Kroger again last night and got some asparagus. Whilst placing the asparagus tenderly in its crisper, I noticed the strawberries. They beckoned, “Eat us! Eat us before we moooooooold!” Terrified of the prospect of (god forbid) wasting food, I hopped on to ye olde Google to find a recipe involving strawberries. I finally decided on muffins, mainly because I watched Betty White host SNL over the weekend and saw this and was grossed out, then laughed hysterically. So strawberry muffins it was! I got the recipe off of Allrecipes, but made quite a few additions, so I’ll post it here. These are easy, and FUCKING DELICIOUS. I recommend making them STAT.

Fucking Good Strawberry Muffins (adapted from Allrecipes)

  • 1/4 cup canola or vegetable oil
  • 1/2 cup milk (I’m thinking coconut milk might also be delicious)
  • 1 egg
  • 1/4 cup sour cream
  • 1-2 tsp. vanilla
  • 1 3/4 cup AP flour
  • 1/2 cup sugar (I used white, but I think brown would be nice too)
  • 2 tsp. baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp. salt
  • 1/2-1 tsp. ground ginger
  • 1 cup chopped strawberries (I used most of the 1 lb. container, if that helps?)
  1. Preheat oven to 375. Grease 12-cup muffin tin.
  2. In small bowl, whisk together wet ingredients, through vanilla. In large bowl, whisk together dry ingredients, through ground ginger.
  3. Using a rubber spatula, pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients. Mix til just combined, then mix in the strawberries.
  4. Pour evenly into muffin tin. Bake for….oh, about 23-25 minutes. Let them hang out in the tin for about 10 minutes, then put them on a rack to cool completely. If you haven’t eaten them all already. Because they are that fucking good.

The Peculiar Purple Pieman of Porcupine Peak! Rat-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-tatata!


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