It’s the Great Pumpkin, El and Lo!

Since I found this, I'm pretty sure I can die happy now.

Ah, fall. The best time of year. Why? Uh-DOI – it’s my birfday season, jerks! And the weather gets nice and cold and BRIGHTLY COLORED OPAQUE TIGHTS and booooooooots! Huzzah! But also it’s pumpkin season. Pumpkin, in case you were not aware, rules. It pretty much makes everything better. Cancer? CURED. Broken heart? FIXED. Money problems? Well, perhaps I exaggerate. Ahem. I love to bake with the stuff. Cookies, quick breads, pie, brownies, everything delicious you could possibly imagine. And before you’re all like, “WTF, brownies??” let me reassure you that pumpkin and chocolate go together like Statler and Waldorf. The flavors mesh and pumpkin makes everything moist and nummy. So for your baking pleasure, here are a few tried and true pumpkin recipes that I love with all of my cold, black heart. These are perfect for fall and your family will be super-impressed if you show up with one of these for dessert instead of just showing up to Thanksgiving dinner empty-handed like you do every year, you NE’ER-DO-WELL!

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies

Pumpkin Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting

Pumpkin Pancakes (I don’t even like pancakes, but these are the shit)

Chocolate Pumpkin Pie Bars (addicting – I made them a billion times last year)

And here is the recipe for pumpkin bread, which I made for Kona last year, and I thought she would kiss me. She didn’t. But the bread is deeeeeeeelish.

Spiced Pumpkin Bread (adapted from ATK) (I up the spice and do not fuck around with nuts or cranberries, but I DO add chocolate) (You’re welcome.)

• 2 cups AP flour
• 1 tsp. baking soda
• 1 tsp. baking powder
• 2 tsp. ground cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 1/2 tsp. ground nutmeg
• 1 tsp ground ginger
• 1/2 tsp. cloves (for a kick)
• 1 15 oz. can PUMPKIN PUREE (not pumpkin pie mix, otherwise you will FUCK EVERYTHING UP)
• 1 cup sugar (you could even do 1/2 brown and 1/2 white if you’re feeling saucy)
• 1 stick butter, melted and cooled
• 2 large eggs
• 2 tsp. vanilla
• 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips (mini or regular – it’s your day!)

1. Preheat oven to 450. Grease an 8.5″ or 9″ loaf pan.
2. Whisk dry ingredients (including spices, but sans chocolate chips) together in a large bowl.
3. In a medium bowl, whisk together all the wet ingredients. (I use a mixer cuz I am mad lazy.)
4. Fold pumpkin mixture into dry ingredients and stir until JUST COMBINED. Like banana bread, if you overmix this batter, your life will be ruined forever. Not even lying. Stir in the chocolate chips. Lick the spatula and get a little giddy.
5. Scrape batter into loaf pan and bake for approximately 45-55 minutes, depending on not only your oven, but the size of the loaf pan you used. SIZE MATTERS.
6. Let loaf cool in pan for 10 minutes. Then you’re supposed to let it cool on the rack for an hour, but I always cut a slice off and eat it because I love it more than life itself.

I have several new pumpkin recipes that I would like to try ASAP. I just have to quit being a dummy and remember to buy pumpkin when I’m at the grocery store. So, expect a bunch of cliches from me in the forseeable future! YOU ARE WELCOME.